My Bro

My bro has gone to the army.

It's like a part of me disappears. The crazy me, the me who talks, the me who cracks jokes, the me who bullies you (a little) for no reason at all, is gone. With my bro gone, this part of me will also disappear for the time being.

Because there's no one else who I dare to reveal my true self to. I'm not the kind who's very open, and I'm probably the forgettable kid, the whats-his-name boy, the person that people just kinda ignore and let slide by.

This holiday was a waste of time. Gone down the drain. It came, I played, it's gone. Like a snap. Then school starts. I'm not really looking forward to school. I'm freaked by school. For the past four years my mind went tipsy because of my inability to handle school well. The crux of it I guess, is because I fell in love with someone. Every year I fall in love with someone, puppy love, start obsessing, losing out on life. I hated softball, I hated schoolwork, I couldn't function. Well it wasn't just my crushes that cause all that I guess. Partly it's my laziness, and also my fear of people. My quietness. I couldn't stand softball because it was too strenuous. I liked it when I was good at it, but when I wasn't, well, I was too lazy to enjoy the training. And then there were people whom you would have to interact with. Dammit I suck at people. Well I used to think I was good at socializing the start of this year, but it all turned out that I was just quite insane, unstable, high, and therefore I talked more then I usually would. In a weird way.

Next year, there will be girls. Next year, I'll try to not crush on someone. I don't know if I will or not, because I told myself today NO LUNCH! but I went to long john silver's after my gym session. And pigged out. Next year I don't know how it will turn out. At least I'm not into reading esotoric websites or pick up guides or bullshit like that. Had 2 good girlfriends and lost them both because of them. Actually I got them because of them. But. I guess I regretted the whole of this year. And I've also quit socionics. Still sometimes am tempted to think that I'm ISFj though. But screw socionics. Humans are more plastic than that.

And my bro is gone. No one to guide me at all. Though we never really do talk about serious stuff. Ever. I don't know why. I guess he doesn't talk much, and I guess I don't really dare to share much with him. So I actually don't know much of what's going on in his life. Which kinda sucks.

And then there's this thing about God that haunts me. I'm just not close to Him. Though I say I believe Him, but I suspect I'm not even born again. Though I'm baptized, I don't dare say I would be going to heaven. I fear I would be one of those who will say to Him, "Lord Lord", and I fear He would reply "get away from me, I do not know you". And then. Well. You know the rest. My person is not in a very good shape, so I can't say I'll give everything to know the Lord. But I do want to. I want to be happy, to be healthy, to know the Lord. I want to be alive.

I look at Titus, and I look at Victor, and how I wish I would enjoy the Lord as they do. But well, I don't. I know I'm doing a lot of things wrong now, and I guess I have to change these things if things are going to be better. I don't know. I will change these things about myself.

Well I have to.

Plastic Bags

Lol.

Today we waited about one hour for Titus's video cam. Turned out that his mum couldn't find it, and what happened was that Titus lost his video cam at school yesterday. The admin staff said she saw a black camera bag reported in that morning, but for some reason she wasn't in power to return it to us. We were supposed to wait for this other person to come. That person never really came, so Titus went in to ask for the camera himself. This time round the admin staff helped him get his camera, which he passed to us and then proceeded to tend to the Ambassador of Israel, who apparently was the minister of education and some kind of journalist as well. Some kind of big shot guy huh.

So me and yong went to the junior block to film a plastic bag falling down towards the ground. Our first attempt: I went up to the 7th storey of the raja block, released the bag, it floated down...and left...and lo and behold it landed on one of the rafters on the other side. -.-

Obviously an empty plastic bag won't work, so I went to the canteen and grabbed two plastic bags and 3 spoons from the kind snack stall lady. Subsequently, we placed spoons into the bags before dropping them. Yong was filming first, but then he took over dropping the bags because he was apparently more pro in dropping bags. Lol. So I was happily filming away and Yong was happily dropping away when suddenly one of the bags he dropped fell super quickly and plopped on the ground with water all over. He filled one of the bags with water, that sneaky bastard.

So in the end we got a few footages of plastic bags falling down, and two of them plopping down and exploding with water, though they didn't really explode too much because Yong didn't tie the bag up. We spent about half an hour filming a scene that will only take up about the first 10 seconds of the opening time. Oh well, I guess that's how filming is like for a bunch of amature filmers.

Tomorrow I'll be writing a report with my RE group during the 3 hours of RE. I'm really hoping that I can contribute something and not stone around helplessly again. This is the last thing I can do for my group so I hope I can do it well. Yup.

Chemistry lesson was seriously stoned. I was falling asleep half the time and the other half the time I couldn't catch what was going on. Sigh. It's not as if I slept very late or something. I know that half the class probably slept later than me.

And I can't seem to decide what to do now. Study for chinese? Do some math? I think I had better just do something, it's better than doing nothing, or just blogging for that matter. Don't really think anyone read this blog nowadays. It's so emo and no one wants to read emo blogs.

On thursday I'm supposed to be jamming with my band. But of course, I am noob at drumming. I don't know enough of drums to be able to airdrum and practice songs at home, at most I can helplessly follow, knowing that half of what I'm drumming is not really quite 'there'. Imagine what happens when I go for the jamming. It's like taking a mudkipper and racing it on land. It feels helluva uncomfortable and all I wanna do is to get the jamming session over and done with. Freak.

This is probably the first proper post in like...how many years?

And yes.

Plastic bags.

Reliability

Today I read something interesting.

"Reliability is one of the hardest character traits to identify by testing or "screening" or anything except personal acquaintance.
Some people are "rocks" by nature or training, while others are papier-mâché painted to resemble rocks, who crumble when sudden pressure is applied by circumstances."

I realized that I was being like papier-mâché to many things. That is why I can't face myself. I have been papier-mâché to my RE group, papier-mâché to Victor, papier-mâché to my family. I feel very ashamed of myself and I don't know what to do. Worse of all I've been papier-mâché to God. Well, only He knows my condition. My heart is really in a bad state. Even I can't really see who I really am because I guess man is self-deceptive at heart. I hope God will shed some light and make me change for the better.

More for others

Recently I have been very self-piteous. This is a very bad way of handling pressures. I should be selfless towards others, and direct this overindulgent love for self towards loving others. Those who read my blog, I humbly seek that you gently push me towards the right direction. Thanks so much!

Everybody's Entitlement

Everybody has their own strengths, their own weaknesses
Their own struggles, their own successes
Their own ways of amelioration, their own ways of deterioration
Their own ways of construction, their own ways of destruction

Divergent and convergent paths; each person has their own reasons to take either.

However there is this thing called Consequence. It's not a word favoured by many, and those who favour it are disfavoured by many. As Sy Rogers, an ex-homosexual who experienced a deviant childhood, once said, and this be a paraphrase not an exact quotation, that I may be standing on a cliff, and then jumping off, and while tumbling and rolling about in midair, I confess all my sins, repent, and acknowledge God, but still ... I will land 'splat' onto the ground. That is the reality of consequence.

Although everybody has their own entitlements, none can escape the laws that God has put in place onto this universe: the law of cause and effect, that is Consequence. One may have murdered another in cold blood, and due to God's grace, was brought to light - his actions acknowledged by the society and the entirety of self - and also brought to God, thus leading to confession and repentence to the Divine entity, that is God, who due to His eternal Faithfulness and unlimited Mercy forgives this man wholly, but the Consequence is this - he is hanged for his sin of cold-blooded murder.

And because of this, everybody's entitlement should fully adhere to Godly wisdom and understanding, or else its administrator might just as well not have entitlement at all; the inability to excercise rights within the boundaries of Righteousness may very well, as it often does, lead to unnecessary loss of property and even lives.

I still need a little more pushing, but within time, I could see myself leaving the wider road for the thinner one.

I think I'm taking myself too seriously.

PARTY TIME WOOTS!!

Just joking. I'm serious.

It's past, it's past

It's over, the days of old
The specks of sawdust on my clothes
The dirt and grime within my eyes.

It's over, the things of old
The stupidity that garnished itself on me
The naivety that wrapped itself around my legs.

It's over, the crimes of old
The sin that strangles and destroys
The loss that attracts more of its own into itself like void.

It's over, it's gone, it's past.
It's past, it's past.

The sun will shine again another day.

There's a great illusion in the developed world

Those on top fear of being dragged down

while those below fear of being destroyed.

I am led to think that those below have the greater right to fear, however intuition tells me that both have their own equal reasons to fear. The ones on top, having enjoyed luxury to the point of being psychologically dependent on it, fear of losing their luxuries as much as how Freud's baby would fear the absence of the mother's nipple. The ones below fear for their every day existence. Of course they have the greater right to fear. The ones on top only fear the loss of luxuries whereas the ones below fear the loss of life. The degree of loss by those below as compared to the degree of loss by those above is much larger. However, their reasons to fear are equal: both fear loss of their current position.

The only way to counter these fears, is to allow those below to be pulled up by those on top. When that happens, the Marxist progression would be complete. Not saying that I believe in Marxism. I personally believe that a Marxist society is not possible in this day and age, not even through global communism, for the simple reason that people's mindsets are not fluid enough to allow a classless society.

In today's society, those on top are continually pushing down those on the same level, and those below have great difficulties going up. This is because the top dogs aren't caring about the underdogs, they do not view them on an equal level, and they are too self-serving. All they think about is "I must be better than X, X must be worse than me. I must be the best as compared to everyone else." In other words, the competitive spirit kills all. Comparison is the killing of self as well as others. I would suggest appreciation. Appreciation is the building of self and others. If everyone appreciates each other, humanity can only grow for the better.

Once the whole of humanity appreciates each other and live in accordance to God's values, there will be no fear. Everyone will love each other, and perfect love casts out all fear.

The great illusion in the develop world is a fear to lose something that isn't even important, that is material wealth and social position, and the audacious courage to not fear losing the things that are important, that is spiritual wealth and divine position.

Night time sadness.

You don't seem to care anymore.
Neither do I.

I do not wish to face silent persecution
Upon saying 'I love you'.

I do not wish to be alone and dry
Upon saying 'I love you'.

I do not wish to lose myself to a surrogate
Upon saying 'I love you'.

I don't seem to care anymore.
Neither do you.

...

Therefore I suggest that we 'spot'-ulate
And grow bananas on our heads
So that we may dance upon a white background
Singing like fools on a stage.

...

But still,
Night time sadness envelops me again.

But it will fail,
For I see light too bright at the end of the tunnel.

Yes it will fail,
For I see too bright the light at the end of this tunnel.



And it will fail,
For I see the light at the end of this tunnel.

I'm doing this to get free downloads.

This website is really good for downloading free games. Visit!

http://free-game-downloads.mosw.com/

Lol.

Ubiquitous Silence

Silence in its mistiness
in a fog that emanates
out, up, into the nowheres
of everywhere,

Singing its dreadful song of
nothing in everything,
of emptiness in whirling solidity,
of solutions in an endless tube of ether.

Empty solutions.
Convoluted solutions.
Problems.

Silence.

I'm just an ordinary man living an ordinary life.

No joke. I wished that I had the details to highlight how special my day is, making this post an irony in itself, but no I don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that today wasn't a particularly special day. It's just like any other day, other than the fact that it's unique. It's true, you can't find another day like today. You can't expect yourself to be in the same two shoes that you put on this morning.

But today is a rather slack day.

There will be hard times and trials ahead, and then I'll look back on today, and instead of cursing the weather, I'll be lavishing in the embedded memory of rest, of freedom, of family. But when times like that come, I will remember that the present remains as the only thing that I can cherish and change. And I will meet the burden and conquer it.

Yes I still have homework yet to be completed, but of course, life doesn't wither and die because of uncompleted homework. All we have to do is to test our resolve, let God strengthen our spirits, and push on. Because once our homework is done, life is suddenly a form of enlightened existence.

I still cringe at the past, at memories, at regrets. But the only thing that is in my power to do is is to make that sure those days did count for something; to thoughtfully consider them, and to make sure that the error of those days do not carry forward to the living of today and tomorrow, and the yet to be.

I feel hungry.

I bet it's time for dinner.

100 posts

Today, we celebrate our 100th post with an explosive spectacle of pyrotechnics as seen in V for Vendetta. If you haven't watched it yet, then quick go.

Happy 100th post, Reuben!

And.

And as I wait
I'll rise up like an eagle

I'm a SNOB

The era of Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG's) is dead and long gone (after falling down the cliff of 'AID's' and other male-to-male created disease).

I'm a SNOB now, a Sensitive New Order Boy.

SNOBs generally behave in strange ways, ways too strange to detail, but as a general rule, they dao you while causing you to wait for them (through subtle emotional manipulation) as if they were the centre of the universe. If you see a SNOB in public, do not hesitate to put your revolver and silver bullet to good use; people these days must be taught, the hard way, that the world does not revolver... sorry, revolve around them.

SNOBs usually seem as if they do not care about their looks. In truth, they spend much time in front of the mirror, combing their hair, messing it up, and re-combing it, resulting in what you would call a half-draped currypuff hairstyle. If you're a random expat, and thus languidly wondering what this means, pick up a random gossip newspaper (with chinese poseurs in the pictures) and take a look at that chinese guy. Yes anyone will do, you silly white man. Look at his hairstyle. If you're going "OMG SNOB hairstyle! By Jove's wimpledams! Every other chinese guy has it!" then you're probably on the right track.

The internal state of mind of a SNOB is far more interesting than its behaviour and how it wears its hair. In fact, after much careful analysis, I have come to the uncontestable conclusion that a SNOB's state of mind is ... prepare for this, it's shockingly complex I tell you, ABSOLUTELY

blank.

No joke. Do not be fooled by the SNOB's ability to conform to society's norms; this ability requires no intelligence at all (I say this after experiencing to a carefully measured extent, through the highly intoxicating method of 'Caring Too Much For Appearances', the state of subzero intelligence, and please do not worry about my sanity; I have already considered much safer alternatives like getting high on Ecstasy, but being the daring pioneer that I always was, I decided to go all the way and risk it), and the utterly, disgustingly fat, and morbidly undressed truth is this: the SNOB is too logically impaired, thus is, by logical extension (something a SNOB is unable to comprehend), incapable to think.

...

I am sick and tired of hate sites being merely simple and unsophisticated hate sites. Hate sites must learn to be as developed and pragmatic as mine. I advocate this. If you hate them, kill them.

KILL THOSE FREAKIN' SNOBS!

p.s. the above written post is for entertainment's sake only, please do not start taking out your 3 handguns, 2 rifles, and 27 shotguns (especially if you are American, no offense but I am a staunchly prejudiced racist who is largely ignorant of the words that carelessly spew out of my mouth like an unmeasured portion of the Niagara falls) in pragmatic consideration of my truly falsely-crafted passionate advocation.

p.p.s. just joking.

p.p.p.s. kill the snobs. all of them. (and land in jail for all I care.)

Goodnight.

First 10 reasons why hair is an effective tool.

I have come to a morbid realization that posting up a whopping number of reasons at one go will only serve to destabilize the intricately basic neural circuits that have somehow escaped the process of oxidation to, amazingly, survive *and* reside in the simple minds of a generic random passerby, so I have decided to reduce the number to ...10.

But before we go on, here's the quote of the day:
"Mexican women are ugly because the Aztecs killed off their good-looking-women-genes by sacrificing hot virgin females to their emotionally unstable god." -Bra55Monkey from YouTube

Interesting, no? You can judge the content of the religion just by looking at what it does to its women.

...And men.

And the resultant population in general.

Moving on,

Reason #1:

...

I'm sorry guys. My brain has detected a mild trace of information overload. So being a nice guy and everything, I have decided that enough is enough. No more reasons for tonight. I'll think of 50 the next day. And the next. And the next.

Me and procrastination? We almost made love and produced a couple of children called 'Irritation with Self', 'Feelings of Worthlessness', and 'Sleepless Nights'. But then I remembered the wise man's words about not following the hot chick into the temptress's lair. So yeah. Me and procrastination didn't make love after all.

So don't worry, I will come up with 50 reasons tomorrow. And if I don't, blame Victor. He asked me out to watch Spiderman 3 tomorrow.

Goodnight.

50 reasons why hair is an effective tool

I gtg now. Bye.

A wise man told me

A wise man told me today that:

"young men need to understand that you should have something to say before making a conversation

if you do not have something to say, then you're simply calling for attention

and needy people is like a magnet for ridiculization."

He also said

"if you want to improve your life, and you seem like you want, try to not stick to people

you have to develop your own life and then share it with others."

How apt. And here's another gem

"life is a set of circles

they can be virtuous or vicious

vicious circles are those on which you do something which increases something that causes you discomfort

and that discomfort feeds the action which caused it

and it worsens and worsens

if you like to attract people to you, then you should turn a vicious circle into a virtuous one

observe yourself and look at your areas of interest, develop those and people who like it will be drawn to you

that will motivate to keep moving in that direction, and the circle strenghtens."

Thank God for wise people in my life.

Aspirations

I aspire to work really hard this year.

To make my family glad for everything they have done for me, I will.

To secure as promising a future ahead as my God-given abilities allow me to, I will.

To inspire my friends out of love, I will.

To raise our class's average for class morale, I will.

To give glory to God, I will.

To be a good testimony to others for Christ's sake, I will.

For love of God, for God, from God, and for everyone and every good thing he has made, I will.

By the grace of God, and only in His given grace, I will.

I will study hard this year; friends, do keep me accounted for.

Silence

Pure silence in the trees and the hills and the summer clad forests;
The winds and the silver-moon wolves.
Pure silence within and without the river's soft flow;
The quietness that lay steep upon the banks.

Pure silence like garnishing on a tired tree top
Tossed by the wind and the skies.

Pure silence sings its song much louder than any other

So much so

That pure silence is almost -

Almost but not completely -

Beautiful.

The stars - they shine so bright tonight

The stars are beautiful tonight;
the way they shine so bright -
they have a beautiful
Creator.

The stars they shine so bright;
that in their twinkling absence
we feel His all-assuring
presence.

The stars are beautiful tonight
because these weaknesses we see
within ourselves
cannot endure His divine light.

The stars - they shine so bright tonight;
Thank God, they shine so bright, tonight.

The secret to power

lies in strength, timing, and precision.

Look at the peregrine falcons who dive for their prey, the panthers who pounce on their victims (no innuendos, please) , the cheetah whose strength lies in his speed and precision.

Cheetah's are cool. They are lean, mean, pouncing machines. And after that they lie around like what most cats do.

I love cats.

Cats don't give two blimey shoes about you (unless you show up aggressive, naughty naughty). They simply lie on the cool floor, fluff their fur, lick themselves, and be cute.

I love dogs.

They are loyal. Come what may, they will stick to you and up for you no matter what. And the way they chase their tail <3333333

Birds are interesting. I mean look, they can fly. Can you fly? If you can't you're probably not as cool as a bird. Bug off.

I think stick insects are cool bugs. They look like sticks, but they are insects, enough said.

Much like choon. He looks like a spoon but he's a choon, he's cool. Enough said.

What about sebby. Sebby looks like a jelly fish but really, he is a jelly fish. Enough said.

And shahan is like a springy ball but he's my son. Bug off.

Gabriel is like a piece of art. I killed my aunt the other day for being too stiff-necked. But hey, I got away with it by framing Gabriel.

Wahaha I'm funny, enough said.

The secret to power is in the strength and speed of delivery, the strength and speed of delivery to the precise spot of weakness.

But true power is not in he who kills all, not in he who wields the sword of Muramasa, the sword that belongs to the blood-thirsty, the death-mongrel, the sword that slices through everything;

True power lies in the calm warrior who unsheathes his Masamune, the sword that slays only and every Evil, to maintain inner peace and outer strength.

It is to he who can do so where love and respect belongs. Being under his arms of protection no one can resist. And his embrace of love many will seek to find and recieve.

Would you like to be this person?

It's your choice.

I am beginning to let go

of the way you always leave like that.

The way you just disappear like it doesn't matter, the way you find other guys for company, the way you keep silent and almost distant although we're just 7 cm apart.

I will let you be the butterfly that you really are because really there's so much more in this world that is worth doing other than feeling self-piteous, jealous, and oddly human - than holding too tightly on to you.

On a happier note,

the pen you gave me is really sexy.

And I like the pink dangling thing, even though my junior said that he bought one whole freakin' box worth of them and gave them to someone special. lol.

The only defense I have is that 'one alone, and pink, makes it so much more special.'

Doesn't matter and though my heart still aches like a hand that just caught a softball without a freakin' glove

I want to say that

you really pulled my heart strings (and you've yet to soothe the sore) but at least you can make me feel human.

Me

I am a person treading lonely in this world

All I long for is a close relationship

I do not usually expose my weaknesses in front of all of you

But I know yours and I feel it is unfair to keep mine hidden

After all every single one of us

Are different

Yet Humanity is one.

I am just a part of Humanity

I am scarred by myself pushing away the rest

I am scarred by those who fear me and do not love me

I am scarred.

I love you because you heal my wounds

But sometimes I do fear for I am only human.

True love casts out all fear.

Amen.

To You:

Let's grow up beyond this infatuation season and get to know each other better.

You'll be ready for what's beyond by the time you read this.

(When we do it, we do it.)

Sincerely,

From Me.

New Beginnings

I have spoken about the road that I have chosen. Long ago I have spoken.

I have tried the road that was large.

It did not work.

I have tried the road that was thin.

It was too boring.

I have tried walking on the sidewalks, on the hills, and under the trees.

People stared at me.

In truth, I abhor that. I dislike taking unnecessary action. Too much attention means too much action means falling out with nature. I am in love with nature. Nature is my only true love, after God and Tiffany.

I am starting to fall out of love with Tiffany because of the same reason.

But things are settled.

I will walk the thin path.

(But when only God and Tiffany are watching, I will dance along the grasses, flowers, and trees. I will frolic on the hills under the moonshine and sunshine alike. The clouds and the stars will both love me. I will be a friend to the kittens and puppies, to the ravens and the sparrows, to the darkness and to the Light. But I will always live in the Light.)

For as Light is pleasing to the eyes, and Salt is pleasing to the tongue, God's spirit is pleasing to my body and soul.

And God gave me Tiffany.

How much I love God.

God I love you.

The last few days

Has been rather shitty for me. I hope You come here and read this. Because I want You to know that I'm fine again. Your King of Hearts is back. He doesn't like setbacks like rejection from CAP councillorship but he takes things in his stride. He doesn't like the fact that he has overwhelming emotions that only You (are allowed to) can see, but he takes it in his stride. There's a reason why You are there for him. A reason why he chose You. A reason why he will never leave You if You decide to never leave him.

And thank God You already have.

Ponning school has never been better.
With lots of style and fire,
Your King of Hearts, Reuben.

A careless reaction

A careless reaction on my part
Would be the sexiest action you will ever get.
A naked baring of my heart;
The heaviest on which your eyes have ever set.
In which each dew drop bears another created form of affection for you.
In which each drop falls to embolden the reigns that pull this fantasy through to you.
And you know that my love for you is true.

A careless reaction on my part
Would be the most timely action you will ever recieve.
An exposure done right; timed well like the rest of my art-
In which you would seive to find the greatest gift I will give:
That is divine, incandescent.
That is exclusive, compliment.
And you know why my love for you is true.

A careless reaction on my part
Would be the action you will forever remember in your heart.
For it shall be the spark that will start
The flames of eternal bliss rolling within our untouchable tart.
Which now contains the love of us both.
Which now presides over the things we both loath.
And you know where my love for you is true.

For this might have very been, the careless action on my part.

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21 lines of pure sexiness.

Motions up and down
around and pressing hard
and tensing down upon

your skin, do I caress or devour
or are both in equal measure?
for your senses

cannot comprehend my touch -
or yes they do but then your heart
will tend to resonate between

the tensions of my sensual pressure,
sometimes lack thereof,
but that creates in you

a kind of aggressive desire
which is very sexy and
uncommon but

feminine smiles and touches;
girly mannerisms-
I would hunger for as well,

Both in rather equal measure.
Take it slow and hard and soft and fast because
Comes with pain much pleasure.

Blogging about tomorrow

Tomorrow will be a good day.

Though it technically hasn't happened yet, but it's gonna be a good day.

It's called future affirmation. What I affirm in the future is likely coming true, to the degree of even *certainly, definitely* coming true.

And you my dear, watch out for tomorrow.

Because I'm busy affirming things that I'll enjoy (don't worry you will too) tomorrow.

And I,
Love you.

Yeah it's true.

We made out for half an hour on the bed yesterday.
Yes it's true.
We were kissing while the world outside was raining.
Yeah it's true.
We were under covers and now we can't get over
each other.

Yeah it's true.

You.

Now you wouldn't want me to start blogging about things do you? Things that are rather private, for only the two of us, for both of us? For us as one?

No you wouldn't. But you would want me to speak of something, something rather hinting that of sorts. The kind of delicacy in gossip in which you approach the application of relational responsibilty with. Yes you would rather desire that in me. Probably an innate reaction to your own psychological need to do so. Which I rather, or rather definitely, enjoy. Seeing that you are willing to impose that upon yourself, I am rather pleased, and am compliant to do the same. For you. Just for you only.

Now, I do it in a different fashion. For you have described events, and carefully casually embedded mine, me, that which I (and you, both of us too) own, into the sexy symmetry, tapestry, and masterpiece of your apparently simple, natural, tiffann(i)ysh blogging and recalling, but I have drawn out it's beauty from it's psychological origin's. I've taken what's inside you and me and put it inside each of us, in each other.

I am heavily laden with sexual innuendos.

I love you.

The Unwillingness To Stop Acting

The Unwillingness To Stop Acting(, And The Willingness To Die Trying)

[Alpha]

And so I live in tired contemplation, knowing that

The glass will break someday

And then perhaps we’ll learn to see

Beyond the mirror in our eyes

We act our plays so well

That no one here could ever be

Unstuck, foot-to-foot, from

The mire formed between our lies

[Beta]

Have you seen a mask

So trite displayed

Yet peacocked in its grandeur?

I’ve never seen hypocrisy

With any kind agenda.

See males and females walking past

Eyes catching each, each stirring lust

They play the game to catch their tails

But back to dust; the courtship fails

Insincere love amounts to nothing

[Gamma]

And then the Violet in the grass

A beauty or a burden?

She took it in the latter form

Thus bowed her head in shame unsmitten

If you were her and she be grass

Would you be standing tall and firm

And will she ever need to bow

For her crime of being special?

…

[Omega.]

Thus mark the gallows in the lie

And graveness in the stupor

Would you give your life to die

But live in truth and vigor?