For Gossip Mongers out there...

Here's some free stock. Get 'em straight from the producer.
However in order to prevent rampant and derogative gossip, we must do what the government did to gambling: legalize it.

Those who want the FULL uncensored deal (XXX) find me at this number: [I'm sorry spam bots but you won't find it here]
Alternatively you can tag with your name, email address and/or contactable number and you will stand a chance to hear with your own blessed ears a word-by-word account of today's activity (to which I will allow a recording for personal use only). You will also recieve a homogenius transcript of the juicy (literally) details through email. No where else will you recieve a deal like this for only $25.95 (that's less than 26 dollars) !

For non-paying members, here is your (censored but) free trial!

Start of free trial transcript:
This was what happened on the 12th of March. I showered, got out of the showers, and dried my hair with a fan. I lay on the sofa. Then I lay on the bed. Then I used a computer to find out 77 guitar's number to get a booking for the jamming studio. Then I went back to lay on the bed. I left for the studio late, for reasons such as etc. etc. etc.
End of free trial transcript.

Don't free trials always piss you off? Wish you could get the full deal? Then do so now! If you have my number or email address, you can call me and ask for what happened, I may even throw in some advice for mutual romantic escalation (for free, no one else gives such insane offers) ! If you don't have my number or email address, you can always comment it here, and don't call me, I'll call you!

All this is more for only $25.95, while stocks last. This offer only lasts till tomorrow midnight so quick hamper for the deals! I may have to increase the price by 50% in order to cover publishing costs and possible lawsuit deals!

[We only accept cold, hard cash. No credit cards, debit cards, or sexual favours accepted. No whores to buy this product. We hate whores. Thank you and have a nice day.]