It's a long time.

It's a long time since I've been here. A long time since I face this screen once more. A long time since I'm typing my thoughts on blank pixels. A long time since I've even cared. Now I am back after a long time, and I must reflect. I look at the screen and it looks back at me, and I wonder if it will ever talk back. Tomorrow is Saturday. I am going to prepare a speech on Saturday.

I don't really like the speech anyway. It's not interesting anymore. There seems to be a fire at the back of my head. And in the pits of my tummy. It burns me up and makes me tired even though I am doing nothing. I keep raging, raging around to find something interesting to do. But I barely get started into doing it before I give it up. It feels as if we're going no where, there are no goals, no achievements, the ball is on the field and you can kick it anywhere you want to. But there is no motivation accept for things temporal, and thus the ball dances around the field without going anywhere.

I wished I could open my mouth and say something that makes sense. Most of the time, the things that come out of my mouth are either nonsense, slightly sensible stuff that are said because teachers need us to present in front of the class, or stuff that are forced out and said reluctantly. I don't wish to be quiet either.

The thing that makes life bearable is communication. It's the essence of life and the fire of life. It's also one thing I haven't been doing often. I feel rusty at it.

Perhaps I should just stop talking about myself. Kind of boring ain't it? Hearing someone talking about himself.

I shall go to sleep good night.