Blogging

There is this thing about blogging that I cannot fathom. Why should I tell the world my private self when I myself have yet to come to terms with it? Perhaps it's the "put the cart before the horse" effect. This means that when I blog about my private self, it is understood that I have come to terms with it.

Now whether I have come to terms with it or not is not for me to answer is it? The knowledge of it does no good to me. Therefore, today we'll talk about apples.

Apples are probably the most wonderful things ever. When you pluck them from trees, you'll hear that resounding snap that reassures you of your significance on this earth in which you were planted. Of course you'll be walking back to your summer house with the sun shining on your sticky back, but you're happy anyway because you've got that apple to eat. Apples can be eaten in many different ways. You can nibble 'em, or peel off it's stubborn skin, or lick it, or just chomp your mouth on it like what I always do when I'm flustered by the fact that there's an apple to eat.

I believe that apples should be eaten middle first. This is to create the "hour-glass" shape that seems appleing to me. Did I just say Appleing? I mean appealing. Once you're done with carving off the middle, you can enjoy your success by slowly chipping off the top and bottom of what's left protruding from the apple's core. Done with that? Now eat the core. Nono I'm not joking. Eat the core. Yes, that's right, eat it.

Uh, are you asking me now what to do with the seeds? You swallow them. NO NOT... ok. I was just kidding. Spit them out. Spit them out now. On the soil. Yes. That's right. Good job. You've eaten an apple and helped to propagate it's species! Now do you see why apples are probably the most wonderful things ever? I do.

Mutters some gibberish

I am convinced that prolonged periods of sport makes you stupid. It's true. I just can't think of anything else to write. My vocab is dropping, I'm struggling to maintain some form of grammar, and I'm becoming restless. My mouth and throat feels tingling. I want to sleep now but I wished I could hear that ethereal voice before. I go.

Spare me at least thy presence
How foolish am I
How silly am I
Spare me at least your presence.